beksboys:

“free trial”

“all we need is your credit card information”

(via forgave)

"For I almost relapse; but I didn’t.
And that is matter to me;
though for you aren’t;
And it’s okay;
though you are the reason."

lolybun’s

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pettyrevenge:

Can’t believe I’m posting, but here goes.

I’m black (this will become relevant later) and people have this habit of mistaking me for the staff, no matter what I’m wearing

About 15 years ago, I went to a fancy restaurant (dressed appropriately, slacks and a nice shirt and tie and jacket) for a lunch interview (ahh, heady dot com days, but I digress).

After the interview, I’m walking out and a man drives up in a an expensive car (Porsche 911) , screeches to a stop, hops out and hurls his keys at me.

Instincts being what they are, I catch them (surprised me, my coordination is terrible enough that I couldn’t catch a cold). It dawns on me that the man has mistaken me for a Valet (this is ironic because this particular restaurant HAS NO VALET Parking).

I start “Excuse me..” and he responds in the most condescending of tones “What, are you stupid? Just park my fucking car!”

I’m struck speechless as he glares at me, and I nod. He turns to go into the restaurant, I walk down the street (it’s near Newbury st in Boston), get to the section that is a Highway overpass, and drop the keys onto the side of the highway.

I’ve always wondered how Mr Asshole got home.

(Source: redd.it, via smitethestate)

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ayellowbirds:

jellyfishjammin:

The “I am a piece of shit and nobody will ever love me” factoid is actually a statistical error. You are actually are fantastic and infinitely worthy of people’s company.  That person you used to care about, who taught you to hate yourself by abandoning you, is an outlier and should not have been counted

this is the greatest and most positive use of a meme that i have ever seen.

(via smitethestate)

407109

sariae:

afictionadoes:

sariae:

why do so many people romanticize the 1950′s? like calm down we still have milkshakes and racism 

I know this^ is probably a sarcastic post, BUT….

For me, I love the 50s for all of its innocence and hope. There were bad things happening, yes, but it had that lovely pastel veneer that made everything nice and neighborly and honest.

Also the music is unparalleled.

my black friend’s grandmother was physically beaten by a group of white boys when she tried to attend a public high school after segregation had been deemed unconstitutional. her grandfather still has the scars on his back from the pressure hoses aimed at him by police. but i’m glad you like that lovely pastel veneer

(via skylerwhte)

smatter:

weloveshortvideos:

We surprised our teacher with kittens because her cat passed away yesterday

I love this

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com, via pinkmochiprincess)

ruinedchildhood:

“maybe you just haven’t found the right person yet”

(via forgave)

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waspabi:

lornacrowley:

blossomfae:

missvoltairine:

bradkey:

osmanthusoolong:

arminarlerted:

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

(via forgave)